I just dropped my little 18-month old son JJ off at “childcare” for the first time. My heart is overflowing with emotions. We had been keeping his care “in the family” so to speak, so far splitting childcare time between myself, my wife, and my parents who live nearby (plus close friends and neighbors – it takes a village, right?). But for various reasons during these next two weeks we needed extra help. Actual “childcare”. Whoa.
The place we found is beautiful: “The Magic Garden“, totally rootsy, rural, and relaxed. Wild gardens, berries, hills, fruit trees, chickens, cats/dogs/horses/sheep + super kind and loving people. It’s totally the type of place I would want to see him at….but oh my heart! I can’t help but sob, both recognizing a marker/milestone in JJ’s (and our) life and that’s he’s “somewhere else” with “other people”. But also sad to be missing it; missing watching him explore and grow, to be there along with him for the ride and adventure. oh life! I’ve been working with childcare places for so long; seeing kids, caregivers, and parents picking up, dropping off … but now it’s here for me up close and personal. From the inside. What a heart-string pull… so many feelings…
(here’s a little look at his first wanderings of the place)
Awww! Showed the boys and if it helps – O said he wants to go there. “TOTALLY!”
Oh my gosh Rusty, I feel your pain – and it is painful when we first leave our precious children in the hands of others, no matter how qualified and experienced and highly recommended they may be. What an amazing looking environment and playscape for JJ to explore and grow more independent. Remember not to hover too much, but to all share in the new experiences and new sense of place and belonging that looks so welcoming, full of wonder and a new step in your journey as parents and a family.
Wow – what a moment. And so great that you were able to find a place that looks and feels just right for JJ. I do a lot of work with early years settings and feel so sad that children don’t get a choice, often being left in environments with people that I wouldn’t feel comfortable leaving my dog in. I have no problem with good quality childcare. I do have a problem with the fact that there is not enough or it around so parents/carers and children can have a choice.
And you will know if the space is right for JJ because he will tell you in his own way – all a parent needs to do is to listen.
Thanks again for your great work that I love sharing with the settings I work with.
Rusty:
The Magic Garden looks like a wonderful place for your little JJ! Ah, the chickens…and I recognize that slide built into the hill! I promise that you will be okay after this – and JJ’s life will be so much richer for the new experiences that he will encounter. He’s growing up!
Oh Rusty-
I feel for you! It’s such a big step out of that sweet time you’ve had. How did he do?
I can tell you it doesn’t end– and the cliches are true– savor every step on this road towards independence. My 24 year old baby just headed off to grad school in Texas and my 17 year old baby drove himself to WV to camp with friends. And I have that same feeling– delighted for them to be in such a great place, so proud of their accomplishments, AND such an ache to watch them go and realize a chapter is ending.
Hugs to you all three of you!
This is a big day for your family! I hope he has wonderful experiences and will soon have stories to tell! Be brave, Rusty! It looks like a super-fun place…I love a good mowed path through a field!
It DOES look magical. What a big moment in your family’s life. It is so a scary/happy/challenging thing to watch your baby grow up. Christina is correct, his life will be much richer for all his new experiences. And heck, who doesn’t want to be Rusty Keeler’s son’s child care provider? Talk about connections 😉
Thanks Christina. yeah, I know…. he’s growing up, entering the big wide world bit by bit. but phew! pulls on the heart strings! (the chickens help!) you got chickens yet Christina?
nice Linda. JJ had so much fun with O and A – if they were at Magical Garden too I bet he (and I) would feel a lot better!
Thanks Lucinda. good advice. on his first day if not hovering I was at least certainly “following” (he was happy trucking around the place on his own. I was so excited (as always) to see his reactions-actions) but then to leave him to it, boo hoo!
a friend just sent me this Kahlil Gibran poem: (which I had read many times over the years. but then I was the arrow. now I’m the bow!)
“Your children are not your children. They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself. They come through you but not from you, And though they are with you yet they belong not to you. You may give them your love but not your thoughts, For they have their own thoughts. You may house their bodies but not their souls, For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams. You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you. For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday. You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth. The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite, and He bends you with His might that His arrows may go swift and far. Let your bending in the archer’s hand be for gladness; For even as He loves the arrow that flies, so He loves also the bow that is stable.”
HI Sally, yeah: “choice” is right on. we’re lucky because this place is sure sweet. but I do feel guilty because at JJ’s young age he didn’t get to choose to do this. (and at this point I don’t think he would choose to be separated from us, in a strange (though magical) place) but then again when I have to break away from some fun activity with him on normal days to go get some work done he looks at me like, hey, you’re stopping? where you going? what are you doing? (why would anyone stop playing and exploring and having fun?)
And as far as JJ telling me and me listening: when I picked him up the first day and asked him, “how did you like the magical garden?” he said, “no!” ouch!
oh the bittersweetness of parenting Nancy! each step of the way, huh? oh dear…. oh well!
(how’d he do? see my response to Sally Ann!) doh!
thanks Cori. I’ll try to be brave. (sniff sniff) and yeah: those mowed paths are awesome. infact, you can see their garden layout from space: zoom onto this https://maps.google.com/maps?q=the+magic+garden+ithaca+ny&hl=en&ll=42.372936,-76.520706&spn=0.00075,0.000971&sll=44.145447,-120.583402&sspn=4.217527,7.954102&hq=the+magic+garden&hnear=Ithaca,+Tompkins,+New+York&t=h&z=20
ha ha thanks Michelle! (but that was tough too: I just wanted to hang out in their awesome space and watch the happenings…and they’re like, “bye bye Dad. bye BYE.”) !
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, my favourite ‘big’ guy with his favourite little guy. I am not on the computer much but I am delighted to see your sweet, sweet boy. Thanks for sharing Rusty. I think of you so often and so fondly. Spring is here my friend and looking forward to a road slush splash, tee, hee.
To happy and healthy days, Dianne Bassett
Hi Dianne! nice to hear from you!! oh yes: road slush time of the year, hey? Glad you got to see JJ – he is a load of fun!